First President Trump brought back saying "Merry Christmas". An affirmation of this Christian holiday that the entire nation should be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior. Because we are a Christian nation. Barack Obama (being a devout Muslim) hated that Christian Americans (the Majority) celebrate during the month of December. He might have signed an executive order on the issue (I'd have to look that up to be sure).
As I previously related, I know from personal experience that wishing people a "Merry Christmas" was at least strongly discouraged. I bet you didn't know, however, that "Happy New Year" was similarly discouraged. As per the Islamic calendar (the Hijri calendar), "The current Islamic year is 1439 AH. In the Gregorian calendar, 1439 AH runs from approximately 21 September 2017 to 10 September 2018".
The Gregorian calendar is the calendar we use in the Western/Christian world. A new year for Muslims does not come to pass until September 10, 2018. January 1, 2018 (Gregorian calendar) is just another day for Muslims. Muslims like the prior president, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. If Obama discouraged saying Merry Christmas because he didn't recognize Christmas (as a Muslim), he SURELY did not recognize New Year's Day as any kind of holiday.
This is a fact I was previously blissfully unaware of. How did I find out you may ask? Dan told me. Dan, as you may recall, is the office Liberal. Or the only person in the office whom everyone knows is a Liberal due to the fact that he's obnoxious about it.
"Happy New Year" I wished a number of my co workers after we returned to work in 2013 after the Christmas holiday. Including Aadila, a Muslim woman who is part of the secretarial pool. You could tell she is Muslim because she wears a hijab. I found out about that after I asked her why she was wearing a scarf all the time.
So, I was working at my computer when Dan approached me. Sitting in a chair next to my desk, Dan said, "hey, buddy, you probably don't know it, but Aadila, as a Muslim, doesn't follow the same calendar as we do. By wishing her a happy new year, you're offending her religion".
WTF? I responded. Dan started to explain, but I got and left. "Bathroom emergency" I lied as I walked away briskly. I had to get away from Dan before he angered me so much I was tempted to punch him in the nose (what eventually got me fired). Anyway, while in the bathroom I decided to "release some tension" and rub one out. Before "release" I decided to snap a pic of my powerful erection and send it to Aadila.
She might be a Muslim, but she's also incredibly hot. I don't want to date her, but I surely won't mind a one night stand. Hopefully my dick pic would convince her of the same. Like romancing a woman to convince her that you should date, the purpose of a dick pic is to convince a lady that you and her should bang. Once, just for the joy of it. Women are human beings, after all. And we're ALL sexual animals.
I surely couldn't expect her to make a decision in favor of one night of passion with no idea of what my equipment looks like, right? I mean, what if we got naked and she found out that my junk was "fun sized"? Not that that was a possibility, given how LARGE I am down there. But how would she now without a picture?
Unfortunately Aadila and I never hooked up. The BITCH reported me to HR and I was called in for some "counseling". I lied and said I sent the pic by accident and it was intended for my RECEIPTIVE girlfriend. What ended up happening is that the firm paid Aadila some money to go away. And a letter of "reprimand" was placed in my permanent file.
"You are so close to being fired" the big boss told me. "Now, given the fact that you're our most productive agent, I would really hate to have to do that" the boss said, smiling. Then we laughed about the dick pic. "Wow!" the boss exclaimed. "I can definitely see why you'd be interested in hitting that" he exclaimed, making a "large bazooms" motion with his hands.
"Unfortunately we can't have it, Barlowe. I should dock your pay for what we had to pay Aadila to go away. But I'll just take it out of your bonus. Now, don't do it again" the boss said, winking. Fortunately (for me) the #meetoo CRAP was years away.
"I have a wife, a mistress and a girlfriend, Barlowe. But I didn't meet any of them here at the firm. From now on consider all women who work here off limits". "Look, but don't touch", I replied. "Got it boss". "Exactly" the boss agreed. "Also, don't say anything that could get you in trouble. We all know how sensitive chicks are".
Anyway, I'd like to wish my readers a very Happy New Year. Now that I'm ALLOWED to do so, what with a fine Christian man like Donald J Trump in the White House. As opposed to a Muslim America hater like the former potus.
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