Monday, November 17, 2014

Barlowe Fired For Beating The Sh!t Out Of Dan The Liberal Slacker!

It's just as well, in my opinion. Because I simply could not take it any longer. Dan, when I confronted him in regards to his hijacking of my Blogger account, taunted "what are you going to do about it old man?".

That is when I snapped. I looked around, and seeing nobody else in the parking lot, I let Dan have it. A look of shock appeared on the young punk's face right before my fist hit his nose. Blood spurted everywhere and Dan went down.

After that Barlowe was not only fired, but arrested! Barlowe's lawyer got him out of jail, but he's still in trouble with the law and could go to prison for assault. I could accept a plea deal, pay a fine and get probation, but I think I'm going to demand a trial by my peers.

I mean, Dan was clearly asking for it and people should be cheering Barlowe's actions, not demanding he pay for Dan's medical bills, firing him or threatening him with jail time. It's an outrage!

TLB #58, BS #7.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Traitorous Prez Hussein Giving Aid & Comfort To Terrorists Re: Bergdahl Swap

Barlowe Bayer is an extremely Conservative individual who voted for Willard Mittens Romney in the last election. Although he only did so because Mittens was the better of two bad options. Although the two options were not equally bad.

Hussein was, BY FAR, the worse of the two bad options. We know that even more today (that Hussein was the worse option), what with this Nixonian use of the IRS to target his political enemies, his lying about Benghazi and (most recently) unconstitutionally going around congress and trading 5 Taliban terrorists for 1 scumbag deserter.

For these reasons Barlowe says president Hussein should be impeached. On this topic Barlowe is in complete agreement with the expert opinion of an ex-military man named William Boykin who says President Obama is guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors in regards to the Bergdahl swap.

Boykin also says "Jews are the problem" and the "cause of all the problems in the world" and "that President Obama identifies with and supports Al Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood".

Now, in regards to those three assertions Barlowe is only in agreement with the third one (Hussein identifies with and supports Al Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood). The first two anti-Semitic sounding comments were picked up by a hot mic. Boykin did not intend them to be heard by anyone except the individual he was speaking with.

Given this fact, Barlowe will respect the Lieutenant General's privacy and forget about the seemingly anti-Semitic comments. If Boykin decides to "come out" and declare himself to be an anti-Semite that is one thing. Until then Barlowe will assume he is not.

In any case, what I'm discussing here is Hussein's traitorous sidestepping of congress in releasing Taliban terrorists from Gitmo. And in exchange from someone who CHOSE to leave his post (deserted). Barlowe is utterly disgusted by these actions and believes Hussein should be removed from office for this reason (one among many).

And then be shipped off to Gitmo himself. Yeah, that is a complete fantasy, I know. But just because there is zero chance of it happening does not mean it isn't EXACTLY what the terrorist-sympathizing Muslim deserves.

As for this Bergdahl wuss, the same goes for him. Lt. General Boykin believes Bergdahl "needs to spend the rest of his life in prison at a minimum" and Barlowe agrees. Send him to Gitmo, or just put a bullet in his head.

Now some may argue that "the 5 Taliban detainees had to be released soon, no matter what [because] when wars end, prisoners taken custody must be released". And these people may also point out that the "5 Gitmo detainees were almost all members of the Taliban [and] none were facing charges in either military or civilian courts for their actions".

To this Barlowe says - why the hell were they not facing charges? Why the hell have we not already tried and executed these 5 Taliban scumbag terrorists who will no doubt return to the battlefield after they are released?

Furthermore, why did this not already happen under former prez Bush? Barlowe has no idea, although he is inclined to believe the reason has something to do with a failure of leadership from the supposed Commander-in-Chief. Both of them... the ex-CIC and the present CIC (Bush and Hussein).

Although, in the case of Hussien, his failures, I am positive, are intentional... because he's a Muslim himself and sympathizes with his "brothers in arms" who are valiantly fighting to bring down the "Great Satan".

Which is why Hussein MUST be impeached. Or should be impeached.

But will he be? I doubt it. At the very least we need to elect a Republican president in 2016. If not... well, we're screwed. America will descend further into Socialism and our Nation (as we know it) will be lost.

TLB #57

Thursday, May 8, 2014

An Update On The Hacking Of Barlowe's Google Account

Awhile back I revealed that Barlowe's Blogger/Google account was "hacked" by an employee who works at the same firm as I. This individual, a lazy Liberally-inclined slacker whom Barlowe intensely dislikes, had the balls to sit down at my work computer while I was signed into my Google account and author posts that had me "confessing" to being a Liberal!

Long story short, I took my concerns to the IT guy as soon as I realized someone had been messing with my blog... and with his help discovered it was Dan. The last time I spoke of this violation I revealed that I would take my evidence of this serious breach of office protocol to the boss and strongly suggest that Dan be fired.

To my utter and complete shock the boss rebuffed Barlowe's request and actually chastised Barlowe! The boss did say that he would have a "word" with Dan, but that Barlowe was the one who was in trouble... for using a work computer for "personal" and time-wasting activities!

Now, while this accusation is complete bullpucky, as Barlowe is one of the firm's best salesmen and the blogging in question was done on his own time, I said nothing. Obviously nepotism secures Dan's place with the firm, as the slacker brings absolutely nothing to the table. No skill, no willingness to put in the time and learn the business and no common sense at all!

If Dan were not the son of the boss man's college roommate he never would have been hired to begin with. And if he had been hired - he would have been quickly fired.

At least the boss realized that pairing Barlowe and Dan as mentor and mentee wasn't going to work any longer. The boss assigned someone else that task, to Barlowe's relief. So AT LEAST there is that. Otherwise Barlowe is still STEAMED and still wants Dan fired. I guess I'll just have to bide my time until Dan screws up royally... and mark my words... it WILL happen.

As for me posting about this on my blog and the boss possibly reading it... no worries. The boss has absolutely ZERO interest in blogging and would never seek out or read Barlowe's blog in a million years.

TLB #56, BS #6.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Blah Blah Blah 3

Just a blah blah note to let my blah blah readers (if any) know that this blah blah blog is not abandoned or closed. I am simply on hiatus. Check back frequently so as to not miss my blah blah return!

TLB #55

Monday, March 17, 2014

Barlowe Discovers Who Hijacked His email & Blog

As it turns out, nobody "hacked" into ol' Barlowe's account. It was a simple matter of Barlowe signing into Google on his work computer and leaving himself signed in while he was absent from said computer. Barlowe has deduced that while he was away from his computer, but still signed into Google, a co-worker (and I use that term loosely) sat down in front of his computer, accessed his Blogger and G-mail accounts, and changed the passwords.

At first Barlowe was shocked when he tried to sign into Google and was informed that his password was wrong. Luckily he had added the mobile phone recovery option, and thus regained control of his account in that manner. Barlowe would not have even been aware of the hijacking, if the imposter had not authored posts for Barlowe's blog in which the imposter had Barlowe "confessing" to be a Librul!

Naturally Barlowe had no idea why his blogging friends Will Hart and dmarks thought Barlowe was a fake identity created by their nemesis Dervish Sanders. This is extremely strange, I thought. Ol' Barlowe never interacted with this Dervish person. Fact is, he appears to have been banned from the blogs of Will Hart and dmarks long before Barlowe showed up.

So why would Dervish target Barlowe? No, it wasn't that Dervish was someone Barlowe works with, but that someone Barlowe works with noticed this Dervish person and how hated it seems he is. That gave said person the idea to pretend to be Dervish and gain control of Barlowe's accounts by "hacking" into them.

Turns out the responsible individual was Dan, the Librul that slacks. This is the loser that Barlowe has been trying to convince the big boss to fire for some time. Barlowe found out who was responsible by going to the IT guy and asking if he could help Barlowe figure out how his account was "hacked".

Long story short, the IT guy finds out it was Dan. Now, this is a serious breach of office protocol. Something for which Dan should be fired immediately. Hopefully the big boss will see it that way when he reads the formal complaint Barlowe has filed against Dan - which includes a written report of the infraction by Ray in IT.

But, I just submitted the complaint, so we'll have to see what the big boss says. In regards to that, I will keep my readers updated. Barlowe is steaming mad and wants Dan gone, but given the fact that nepotism plays a large role in why Dan works at the same firm as Barlowe in the first place... I must admit that Barlowe isn't sure what's going to happen.

TLB #54, BS #5.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Barlowe's Google email & Blog Were Hijacked!

Contrary to false "confessions" and labeling of a pal as a "blog defecator", ol' Barlowe believes none of that asinine baloney. Barlowe was actually quite horrified when he discovered someone other than himself had hacked into his Google account and written posts pretending to be him.

Or, that is the story Barlowe is going with, in any case. Barlowe had a great run with his posts written in a Conservative voice, and Barlowe would like to go back to making fun of agreeing with those who are in the right by being a part of the Right.

The consensus seems to be that someone called "Dervish Sanders" is the offender who pretended to be me. Barlowe contacted the folks at Google to let them know what was going on, and that is how he regained control of his account. But just who hijacked Barlowe's blog could not be determined for certain. Obviously whoever it was is way too smart to get caught. It could have been this "Dervish Sanders", or it could have been someone else.

In any case, even though Barlowe could delete the posts written by this hijacker, he has decided to let them stand. That way, this commentary makes sense. How could Barlowe talk of someone hijacking his account and writing posts pretending to be him if there were no posts? People would say, "WTF are you talking about, Barlowe. I see no such posts".

So, by leaving them I can say... the posts are right there. And give a link. That is what some a-hole wrote while pretending to be ol' Barlowe. Barlowe never "confessed" to jack squat. Barlowe is a Conservative through and through, and will be so to the day he dies.

Whether or not anyone believes ol' Barlowe is another matter entirely, I suppose. But, about that Barlowe also does not give jack squat, as the opinion of others is not something Barlowe spends that much time worrying about. Barlowe is the kind of Maker who lets his hard work and accomplishments speak for themselves. As opposed to some pansy-assed Liberal Taker who whines about it when others point out their deficiencies.

TLB #53, BS #4.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Offensive Blog Defecator Known As dmarks

With his last post ol' Barlowe dropped a bombshell revelation and promised to "reveal the contents of an email that dmarks sent to Barlowe back when he thought Barlowe was on his side". But, before I get to that, let me say that I have no moral qualms revealing what Mr. Marks told me in confidence. Why? Because Mr. Marks is an unscrupulous liar who bad-mouthed a good friend of mine in this email. This was when dmarks thought ol' Barlowe was a fellow conservative blogger. Who knows how many others dmarks sent similar email communications to?

Barlowe, although he kept quiet at the time, was actually quite upset that dmarks would do something so deplorable; that is, bad-mouthing another blogger in private by attempting to get my friend banned from another blog. Again, how many of these emails has Mr. Marks sent out? How many other blogs has Mr. Marks attempted to get my friend banned from?

Barlowe would absolutely never even think to email another blogger and suggest that blogger ban dmarks from his or her blog. This kind of behavior is beyond the pale in Barlowe's opinion, which is why Barlowe will reveal what dmarks wrote to him in private with no guilt what-so-ever. Deplorable behavior like this needs to be called out, and that is exactly what Barlowe is now doing.

The message from dmarks (below) also contains his email address; and that I would have removed if not for the fact that the email is included in dmarks' profile, so it isn't something he does not want seen (unlike his blog, which is hidden). For that reason I left it.

Now, for the complete and unedited message. This communication from dmarks was sent to Barlowe's email on 4/27/2013 back when dmarks thought Barlowe was a Conservative blogger and when dmarks did not know that Barlowe was friends with another individual that dmarks hates...

dmarks via Throwawayblog ( wrote:

Hi I just wanted to quielty suggest that you adopt the blog policy Will Hart and myself reluctantly came to adopt, which is moderating the blog and deleting any W-Dervish comments. It makes a blog better by doing so. His repeated lies and personal statements are beyond what others (I.e. Ema) say, and what he demands, which have included repeatedly calling for George W. Bush to be murdered over "crimes" Bush never commited, go beyond left wing views into dangerous nuttiness.

And yes WD has gone so far as to impersonate others (such as Will) and also to send dozens of comments selling penis lengthening products. Its both fraud and harassment. He even caused the liberal "Ambassador Truth" to have a similar policy at his blog.

It is your blog and your choice, of course. Personally though I find some reluctance to comment on posts in which WD has already defecated. If you choose to adopt this policy which Will and I have, please just do it quietly and flush him regardless of what he says. I have never had to do this to anyone else in my blog, and I believe Will has only done it to two (WD and a global warming kook known as number guy).

(Note: one spelling correction was made to dmarks email... in red. Otherwise the message is complete and unaltered).

Now, I'm not going to suggest that a blog could be made better by moderating and screening out dmarks comments. That is for each individual blogger to decide. If you do, however, ever get a dmarks comment, it is a good thing to know, I think, that this guy is a notorious liar. If you want some examples I suggest checking out this blog; authored by someone who clearly has been subjected to the dangerous nuttiness of Mr. Marks.

As for the "personal statements", Barlowe doesn't know what dmarks is talking about. My friend also is not a liar (unlike dmarks), and does not make "personal statements". Not about himself nor anyone else. The claim that my friend has called for George bush to be murdered is just silly. He has never called for it, let alone "demanded" it. As for the "impersonating" of others, that happened one time when dmarks was allowing anonymous comments. My friend entered the name "Will Hart" and linked to Hart's blog. It was a joke that my friend told dmarks about shortly after doing it. dmarks makes it sound like this "impersonation" is something my friend does regularly. But, as I already noted, dmarks lies.

The member-lengthening links sent by my friend were also a joke, sent in response to dmarks insulting my friend. But I'm not going to get into a long explanation regarding that, because my friend wrote a post on his blog explaning the whole incident. If interested follow the link. I will add, however, that the "fraud" charge is idiotic and the "harrassement" allegation is bogus as well. says "not all petty annoyances constitute harassment. Instead, most state laws require that the behavior cause a credible threat to the person's safety or their family's safety". My friend has never send any "harassing" comments or emails to Mr. Marks. Mr. Marks may have been annoyed (and that actually was the goal), but "harassment" means something (legally), and no harassment ever took place.

If being annoying was "harassment", dmarks' continual lies about my friend on the blog of Will Hart and others would certainly qualify. dmarks has followed my friend around the internet and told his lies about my friend on various other blogs, referring to my friend as a "spammer" and "internet troll".

For example, back in July of 2013 dmarks encountered "WD" (his nickname for my friend... one among many) on the blog "Progressive Soup" and spun the following tale in an effort to sour the proprietor on Dervish Sanders (my friend).

dmarks: WD is lying here on many things. ... He is also a troll who has gotten banned on many blogs. from mine for posting dozens of profanity-based comments per day in which he ranted about the length of his penis. (7/1/2013).

The above comment is typical of the BS that spews from the lying maw of the confabulist dmarks. He takes a kernel of truth and surrounds it with a cornfield of fibs and vile lies. Dervish is NOT a "troll who has gotten banned on many blogs". dmarks and his buddy Will Hart banned Dervish. Nobody else has. Dervish has never posted EVEN ONE "profanity-based comment" on dmarks' blog. One or two times he swore at dmarks on Will Hart's blog when dmarks pushed his buttons by lying about him, but that's it.

Finally, Dervish absolutely never "ranted about the length of his penis". That is an "embellishment" (AKA lie) that dmarks added to the story. Every time he tells it he adds more "facts". In this case, the false fact dmarks added was that Dervish "ranted about the length of his penis"... when the comments were simply links and text for member lengthening products (sent as a joke). The links had nothing at all to so with Dervish's privates.

Now, back to the email from dmarks to Barlowe that is quoted near the top of this commentary - in regards to the charge that "Ambassador Truth" (AKA Joe Truth, AKA Joe Hagstrom, AKA Joe "Truth 101" Kelly) had a policy of moderating and deleting w-dervish comments - this is also completely false. Mr. Hagstrom/Kelly did write a commentary critical of Mr. Sanders, but he never banned Dervish from his blog (which is now closed). dmarks is lying about this as well.

Also my friend Dervish finds dmarks referring to his commenting on other blogs as "defecation" and filtering out his remarks as "flushing" highly insulting. Barlowe is also not sure what it is about dmarks' psychosis that causes him not only to be trapped in a constant state of confabulation, but also be subject to a strange fecal obsession. Who knows? Barlowe is not a psychiatrist. As a layman in this area, Barlowe's diagnosis is that the loathsome and despicable dmarks is "nuts", and, in regards to the online presence of Mr. Marks, he could be labeled a "blog defecator", as dmarks surely shits on the site (in comment form) of any blog where his inane rantings are published.

TLB #52

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Barlowe Bayer Confesses

Barlowe Bayer is about to drop a bombshell confession, so grab a hold of your socks for a revelation that will rock the blogging world... which is that Barlowe Bayer is not a Conservative. Every single post that Mr. Bayer wrote prior to this one in a "Conservative voice" was complete BS. Now, before Barlowe gets to the reason for this deception, he would like to issue an apology to Mr. BB-Idaho. Mr. Idaho, you were not meant to be pulled into this, and it was never Barlowe's intention to make a fool of you. For that Barlowe is sorry.

Those who Barlowe did intend to make fools of with his prank included dmarks and Will Hart. You see, Barlowe Bayer is actually a Progressive Democrat and not a Conservative at all. And Barlowe, contrary to what prior posts most certainly suggested, is not a homophobe. Barlowe was simply pretending for the purposes of his prank.

Also - and Barlowe considers this very important - nobody else besides dmarks and Will Hart were ever intended to be fooled, which is why Barlowe never commented on any other blog except for those of Will Hart and dmarks... with one exception. dmarks recently closed his blog to the public and sent out emails to people "inviting" them to participate in his now private blog. It seems that dmarks has now dedicated his blog to lying about and bashing another blogger who Barlowe has great respect and admiration for.

This fine upstanding blogger asked Barlowe if Barlowe could act as his spy by obtaining an invitation to the blog of dmarks. "I am interested in what the delusional Dennis is saying" my friend told me. So I said "I'll do it", and I posted a comment on my own blog in response to a comment left by dmarks. I said "tried to visit your blog, dmarks, but see it is open to 'invited readers' only?". dmarks replied, "You should have received the invitation by now", but dmarks lied.

Turns out the delusional dmarks thinks my friend "raised suspicion Saturday by sending me [dmarks] a message begging for blog access as himself and then as 'Barlowe' a few minutes later". But my friend assures me that dmarks is full of poop. My friend says he DID send dmarks an email requesting an invitation as a joke (which dmarks spins as "begging"). But that email was sent the day before Barlowe commented on his blog (and, as you can see, Barlowe never asked for an invite). And my friend NEVER sent dmarks an email as himself and then "as Barlowe" a few minutes later. That simply did not happen.

I can assure you this is a FACT, because I know my friend does not lie. Also, it was dmarks who contacted Barlowe via email (after he commented on his own blog) and it was dmarks who offered to send an invitation to Barlowe. In dmarks' email to Barlowe, dmarks said Barlowe should send him an email so dmarks would know who to send the invitation to. The idiot dmarks said he would have invited Barlowe, but Google Plus is a "black hole" and he couldn't find the address... even though it is clearly displayed in the "about" section of Barlowe's Google Plus profile, under "Contact information".

Idiot or not (and I think the evidence overwhelmingly suggests dmarks IS an idiot), he nor Will Hart ever would have caught on to the fact that Barlowe was pranking them. The truth was revealed only by accident. Seems that Barlowe was standing by for the invite by dmarks to his blog. While refreshing his Google inbox from time to time, he headed over to the Rational Nation blog.

And that, unfortunately, is where it all went wrong. Barlowe went off and did some other things in the real world, returned to his computer, and totally forgot that he was signed in with the "Barlowe" account. Reading a lie-filled comment by dmarks, Barlowe (who didn't realize he was Barlowe) wrote a reply and - even though the name "Barlowe Bayer" was displayed in the drop down box where the account one wishes to use to submit the comment is located - hit the submit button.

Now, to be clear, Barlowe had never intended to post any comments on the blog of Rational Nation. Les Carpenter of Rational Nation was never a part of Barlowe's prank. The SOLE targets of Barlowe's prank were dmarks and Will Hart. That "Barlowe" commented on the Rational Nation blog was purely by accident.

A stupid accident that was caused by Barlowe's inattentiveness, but an accident none-the-less. Not that it matters, I suppose, as Barlowe had actually retired from blogging. The purpose of the prank having been fulfilled... which was to see if dmarks and Will Hart would embrace Barlowe as one of their own - which THEY DID (while they rejected my friend, whom was banned by both of them from their respective blogs). Satisfied that Barlowe had proven his point, he decided to retire the ID. I mean, Barlowe never intended to comment using the "Barlowe" account on any other blog, as Barlowe had no desire to misrepresent myself to anyone other than the two bloggers already mentioned.

Retired, that is, until Barlowe decided that the "Barlowe" account might be of use in getting dmarks to send an email inviting Barlowe to view his blog where he was posting lies about my friend. But the delusional fool dmarks "suspected" I was someone else other than who I was pretending to be... which occurred, according to his comment on the Rational Nation blog, BEFORE Barlowe accidently commented when he thought he was signed in with another account.

So dmarks imagined Barlowe contacting him minutes after my friend did. I say "imagined" because it never happened. Given that dmarks' imaginings made him suspicious before Barlowe accidently commented on the RN blog and revealed himself to be, in Les Carpenter's words, "a crank", obviously Barlowe was never going to get that invite. Perhaps if my friend hadn't sent dmarks the joke email the DAY BEFORE asking for one, then dmarks wouldn't have imagined Barlowe contacted him "a few minutes later"?

Who knows? In any case, it has occurred to Barlowe that now would be a good time to point out to dmarks and Will Hart that his prank was a success. Both were completely fooled, with dmarks (or "Dennis", as my friend has taken to calling him) even adding a link to Barlowe's blog to the sidebar of his (dmarks') blog. So, even though the scheme to get an invite was ruined by a stupid accident, that accident would only have barred him from further viewing dmarks' blog. Because if the delusional idiot hadn't imagined an email "minutes later" that was never sent, Barlowe would have gotten that invite (even if dmarks later retracted it).

Excuse me, I lost my train of thought there and went off in another direction... what I meant to say was that, even though the scheme to get an invite was ruined, the prank was still a rousing success. And now I can (now that the deception has been revealed) do a victory dance in regards to said success. And I can reveal the contents of an email that dmarks sent to Barlowe back when he thought Barlowe was "on his side". But I shall leave that revelation for another post.

In other words, there shall be at least one more post here on "the Larboard Brain" before Barlowe retires for good. I mean, of what use is Barlowe post-outing? He can't post on any blogs now. Not dmarks' blog because dmarks isn't going to invite him, and not Will Hart's blog, now that dmarks outed him there, and not on any other blog either, because, as I said earlier, the sole purpose of the "Barlowe" account was to fool dmarks and Will Hart.

Barlowe has never, and will never attempt to fool anyone else. Barlowe loves a good prank, but Barlowe is not the type of dishonest fellow who delights in fooling people for no reason, hence his apology to BB-Idaho. Who - oddly in Barlowe's estimation - was the only non-conservative who followed links Barlowe dropped on the "Contra O'Reilly" blog and actually commented on Barlowe's blog (although there was a few comments by Ema, I believe, but she didn't stick around).

If any other Democrats had commented on Barlowe's blog he may have had to pull the plug, as fooling those he agrees with ideologically was something he most definitely did not desire. But, and to drive home this point before ending this post... that didn't happen. Barlowe's prank was a success and THAT is what should be remembered; that dmarks and Will Hart were successfully pranked and Barlowe can go to his retirement knowing he accomplished his goal of pulling one over on dmarks and Will Hart. So there.

TLB #51